Re-creating My Deleted Blog Titled "Delivered "Perfect," From God To Us" - And a Few Other Things

I blogged something in a soft, sentimental moment after holding Nathan for awhile the other night. Holding a new baby affects your brain in funny ways and shortly after I read what I posted, I decided to delete it. It is still showing as a new blog on everyone's blogroll and I've been told maybe I should re-create it, so here it is, although quite different from the first time through. I added a few other things from a blog entry I had already started. Hang on for the ride, it might get wordy!

THIS-N-THAT
I've loved having a new grandson, we're almost even now with 3 girls and 2 boys. Who wants to volunteer to make it even?? Yeah, I didn't think I'd hear, "Me, me!"

I love hearing Rylee tell you that Nathan is HER baby. Her baby named, "Two."

I love seeing Ally looking at him with a smile as she call him "her." And when I correct her she still says, "Well, I want it to be a sister, a girl!" Uh, no, God gave you a brother. A brother named, "Nafum." (Which is also how Devon says his name.)

I love how Emily is still Emily around Nathan. She gazes lovingly at him...and then goes and reads a book. It will take more than a new little brother to get her away from those books! And she actually calls him Nathan and is so happy she got the brother she asked Santa for last year, even though Jamie said last December that there was NO way that was happening. (Don't you just love having to eat your words, Jamie? Ha!)

I will never, and I mean NEVER, pray for patience again. I must have prayed that awhile back because apparently God is taking my learning process seriously! We wait and wait for the elusive job (Steve has one pending but I'm working on not getting overly hopeful, thus causing a serious fall to reality). We wait and wait for the call from UCSF, hoping that it comes so we can get it done before (and if) the pending job comes through. (Since I started writing this, we got the appointment, so another thing answered!) We are at least done waiting to find out if it's a boy or a girl! (It's a boy. Just in case you haven't heard. Okay, everyone's heard, I just like typing "boy.")

I'm thinking that God's decided if He teaches me about patience all in one shot, I'll never ask for it again. He's right, I won't be asking again for a long, long time. If ever.

I love facebook but I'm sad that so many of our blogs have been so neglected. Facebook is an amazing way to stay in touch daily, but the stories, feelings and pictures on blogs last forever.

Okay - on to the re-creation. Don't say I didn't warn you, it's a bit sappy...

The Deleted Blog "Delivered "Perfect" From God To Us (re-created to the best of my ability)

I was holding Nathan the other night and thought about how he had that fresh, new baby smell and feel. He just looked and felt so perfect.

It made me think about how he was born in a perfect state*, with his whole future laying unwritten, waiting for him to fill the pages. No sin, no regrets so far. Yes, he has a natural sin state built in, but so far he's too young for that to really show. (*Disclaimer for the sake of the blog entry: I say "perfect" knowing that none of us can be perfect, even a baby.)

God delivers these little babies to us in nearly perfect form. They haven't had a broken arm or had their first scraped knee from a fall. They haven't hit their sister, lied to their parents, or driven the car without permission. They haven't experienced regret, or guilt, or insecurity. They are basically born in a state of near perfection, a state they won't experience again until they meet Jesus in heaven someday.

At first I thought how sad that we're born so perfect yet we're doomed to have those things in our future. But I also realized that this is an imperfect world that we temporarily live in. The lessons that we learn from these things are good for us in order to successfully live our lives on earth fully the way God intended. Mistakes will come, but so will joy. Many say it's in the toughest times that you grow closer to God, and it's true.

If Nathan doesn't tell a lie, how will he know the joy of forgiveness?

If he doesn't fall off his bike, how will he learn to perservere to the reward at the end when he rides his bike by himself?

If he doesn't have regrets, how will learn for the next time?

Can you imagine staying in the newborn perfection state? Yes, they're blissfully unaware of real pain, stress, and of sin in general. But to stay in that state would mean not growing physically, spiritually, or emotionally.

So...as much as I would love to bubble-wrap each of my children, each of my grandchildren, my husband (you get the picture), it would be denying them what it feels like to take some risks to grow and accomplish great things, and to find joy in what God has given us.

So I have to watch them take off on their bikes, even if they have scratched up knees and elbows while they're learning.

Or watch them make bad choices so they can learn from them.

And then to have the joy of watching them grow up and become adults who love God and their families, and to pass those same lessons on down to their own children.

So even though they were delivered nearly perfect from God, soft, sweet, and unmarked by life, they have to grow up and experience things, both difficult and joyful, before they can return to God to become perfect again, perfect through Him, for all eternity.

And that's my prayer for them, every day.

Wedding Day Pictures

Here are a few pictures from Kris and Diane's wedding. I mostly have pictures of the bride and "her girls" because I didn't get out to where they took the guys' pictures. It was a beautiful wedding!

Fun on Friday

I "borrowed" this from another blog, thought it was cute...

Fall at Our House (and belated cruise pictures)

I love the colors of fall and probably enjoy decorating for fall more than Christmas. I don't go as all out as Christmas, but did a little today. Here are some pictures from our house today, along with a few belated cruise pictures from the pictures we had left after the camera malfunction.




Fred, Leslie and I in the solarium as we floated through the icebergs in the Fjords.

A picture down the main street of Skagway with our ship in the background.

The next two pictures are of Steve/Jenni and Fred/Leslie in front of the Red Onion Saloon in Skagway.


Jenni checking out the ice berg that was brought onto the ship which was later carved into an ice sculpture.

Looking at the glacier from the solarium on the ship.

More Stuff

I love the fall weather, my favorite time of the year. I love the colors and the cool weather coming in, with some warmth in between. Our tree is beautiful this time of year - for a whole 4-5 days. Then the leaves all turn brown and drop in about a week's time. But it's pretty for that short time.

Ally was wearing a heart necklace last week when she was sitting on my lap. She picked up the heart and said, "If I wish on my necklace, Bubba will come back." She put the heart to her mouth and whispered, "I wish Bubba would come back." She lifted the heart to my mouth and told me to make the wish too. I just couldn't, in case she thought it would happen if I said it would, so I had to tell her no, Bubba can't come back.

Emily's reaction to Bubba being gone was funny, so Emily-like. Jamie told her what happened while Em was doing her homework. Emily looked up and said, "Why did you tell me that?" Then she resumed doing her homework. LOL A few days later in my car, I got the harder questions: where did Bubba go, how did it happen, what happened to his body, etc. Oh my, it's not like it's an easy concept to explain, even with humans. They're gone from the body, but not the spirit (humans, not animals). For a child, hard concept. I just hope all dogs DO go to heaven so I didn't lie. =)

Devon's reaction to Bubba being gone was telling me, with a very serious sad face, "You don't have a goggy anymore." I said, "You're right, isn't that sad?" He said yes and watched his cartoon for a minute, then said to me, "You need another goggy." I said no, no more doggies for us, and said, "Yes. You need a goggy." So sweet.

Oh, and we're not getting another goggy. =)

I've put off blogging on our cruise because when Steve made an adjustment to our camera about 2/3 of the way through the cruise, we lost all our pictures on our camera. I don't have many good pictures, but here are a few:

(I'm at work, I'll add the pix later)

We had a great time and the six of us traveled really well together. (I learned that when Diane said Fred doesn't stop for bathroom breaks, she wasn't kidding!! Ha!) Steve and I spent a lot of time in the Solarium pool area where it was warm with big windows and had birds chirping, waterfalls, etc. We read in there, watched whales, dolphins, ice bergs, and the glaciers in there. It was our favorite hanging out spot. We also played lots of bingo and other cruise games, and Steve took a class on making martinis and did wine tasting. Oh, and my visit to the spa too for a massage. Loved that part. Everything was great except the sea sickness the last day (and we won't talk about that part). Oh, and the ship that took 4 days to quit rocking after we got home!

I think our next vacation will be on a beach somewhere - Maui, or Florida, or a Caribbean cruise. If it wasn't for that darned unemployment thing, it'd already be planned! But we're doing one of those next for sure.

It was pretty funny shopping with Jamie for the girls' Halloween costumes. Emily wanted to be Supergirl and Jamie had high hopes that this was the year they would not ALL be princesses! The first thing we found at Sho*pko was a Supergirl costume! Yay!! Well, it would have been yay, but Emily realized how many beautiful princess costumes there were and insisted on one of those. Next great hope - Allyson! Nope, she's a princess too, from the movie "Enchanted." (She went thru Sho*pko saying, "Mommy, I'm Enchanted!" Pretty funny.) Now it's up to Rylee!! Jamie showed her the cutest pumpkin outfit. Rylee took one look and said, "Noooooo!" Then I showed her a Lady Bug and a Bumble Bee. Same reaction, "Noooooo!" Jamie showed her a princess dress and she smiled and said, "Yeah!"

So we have three princesses this year - again. At least Emily went right past the Ariel costume. Progress!

Devon and Josh are superheroes this year. When I asked Devon what he was going to be he told me a superhero. Then I told him the girls were going to be princesses. He had a total look of disgust on his face and said, "WHY????" Cracked me up! Devon would have totally had respect for Supergirl though.

Steve and I rode motorcycles with our friends, Gary and Gloria, last Saturday, what a gorgeous day! We're leaving this Friday at 2:00 to head for Sacramento for an overnighter. We're going to Apple Hill for the apple festival. Miles of farms with fruit stands, cider, desserts, hot food, and vendors with all kinds of things to buy. It's a fun way to buy apple "whatever" you want. We're just going to enjoy the fall weather and fall colors in the hills around Placerville.

So there's my rambling post, they have to happen sooner or later... Thanks for sticking it out!

How God Speaks To Us

Friday afternoon Emily and I left Winco after I bought groceries. As we got into the car I saw that Steve had emailed me on my phone that he didn't get a job that he was perfect for, they weren't even interviewing him. They got his resume, and now a "no thanks" via email. It was a job that was perfect for him, that he was fully qualified for and he would do well at and enjoy.

Yes, I had my hopes up for God to open the door on this one. We've been saying, if we knock, He'll open the door. I really thought this job was the right door.

When I read that he got an email rejection, I admit I was upset, angry at God almost immediately. In my mind, I was telling God, "Hello! Are you up there? Do you even remember us, that Steve needs a job, that this should have been the perfect job for him? Haven't we had enough happening lately, why can't you just do this for us??"

Proof that I'm not a very great child of God, I'm yelling because He didn't do what I thought He should.

Then I heard Emily in the back seat trying to tell me something about Sampson and Delilah, while I'm driving and having my silent tirade to God. I wasn't in the mood for bantering with her but thought, it's not her fault, I need to listen to her. So I asked her what she was saying and this was what she told me:

"We learned about Sampson and Delilah (I have no idea where but probably children's church?). We learned that God takes care of us and we have to do it His way. If we don't and we do it our way it's a sin. That's what we learned about Sampson and Delilah."

My words were, "Yeah, you're right Em, you really got the point of that story!" In my mind I thought, "Was I talking to God out loud and she heard??"

No, I wasn't talking out loud, but God DID hear me. And he spoke to me through a little 6-year old child to let me know He's still there. Still in control. And he knows my pain and even understands my anger when it comes.

God speaks to me when I need it, even when I'm throwing a mental temper-tantrum.

I'm not forgotten, His ways are not mine. I may not understand them, but I can rest assured that I'm remembered and there IS a plan, even if I can't see it yet. I know this is true becuase he reminded me through my sweet 6-year old granddaughter.

Blog by Steven, his health report

To those who don't know this happened very fast...Just the last few days. I had to have a blood test to check that my blood pressure medication wasn't causing problem. They found a "M" protein spike. I was referred to an oncologist for multi myeloma.

I had my Dr. appt. It is confirmed that I have MGUS or Stage 1 Myeloma. Really doesn't matter as both treatments are the same. Multiple Myeloma is a cancer of the plasma producing cells in the blood. It isn't curable but is treatable. MGUS is the pre-stage to multiple myeloma. I have further blood/urine tests tomorrow and a full body bone scan looking for bone lesions. The first step is to just be watched close. If... it is myeloma he expects a min. of a 10 year life expectancy. Plus as it progresses they have treatments from chemo to radiation to a bone marrow transplant that can extend that beyond the 10 years.

He found the "M" spike came back at a 2.9, not great but not really bad. And I have swelling someplace in my body. Both are very common for this cancer. Other than that he said I was VERY healthy and in good physical shape. All that means that I can handle any treatments that come my way in the future.

I will know FOR SURE the final diagnosis in about 12 days. There is a very small possibility that I could have to have a bone marrow biopsy. But he really didn't think that it would be necessary to came to a final diagnosis.

All in all I'm very happy with this. It isn't fun having cancer but if I have to have it at least this one I will live with for a long time.

Steven